Elegy for the Baseball Season

If nothing else it's historic: two 100-loss teams playing a baseball game against each other. The Chicago Cubs and Houston Astros will have piled up 207 losses between them when they meet today for the season finale at Wrigley Field. That's 101 losses for the Cubs vs. 106 losses for the Astros. The last time such crappiness collided was in 1962, when the NY Mets - with a still-standing MLB record of 120 losses - whiffed against the, er, Cubs (103 losses). Attendance for the game was 595 fans.

On a related note: remember Adam Greenberg, the Cubs rookie who got hit on the head by the first - and only - pitch he ever saw? The concussion he suffered in his first at-bat derailed his career. That was 2005. Flash-forward to Oct. 2, 2012. Greenberg returns to the majors. Steps to the plate. Squares off against RA Dickey, the Mets' 20-win knuckle-baller. And this is the subsequent headline: Greenberg Strikes Out 7 Years After Beaning. And this: He's Back... And He Whiffs.

A white-haired gentleman named Fred van Dusen watched from the stands and felt the pain. Greenberg, you see, wasn't the only player to have his career halted by one hit-by-pitch plate appearance. Van Dusen is the other member of the dubious club, after he got nailed as a Philadelphia Philly in 1955.

Peek into Wrigley Field

I'm over the Game 1 lament - well, not really, but I'm over it enough to attend opening day at Wrigley Field. Say what you want about the team stinking up the place, but the ballpark is a beauty. You've probably heard it ad nauseam: the ivy walls, the hand-operated scoreboard, the neon entrance sign, the retro vibe dating to 1914 (Wrigley is the second-oldest park after Boston's Fenway).

Have a look. The view is from the rooftop across the street. I think Jeff Baker hit the two-run homer.


And FYI: Samardzija's ERA is now 27. Zambrano's is 11.88.

A Cubs Fan's Lament

Baseball begins, at long last. The Cubs are back in blue. The sun shines, the beer flows. The Cubs bat first in Atlanta, and holy cow! Newcomer Marlon Byrd hits a 3-run homer! It's going to be an awesome season, we're going all the way in 2010!

An inning later, it's all over. Ace pitcher Carlos Zambrano gives up 8 runs. He walks batters, hits batters, serves up a couple meatball home runs, and makes a throwing error.

The season's finished. The Cubs go on to lose 16 to 5.

"Now, now," you're saying. "It's just one game. Cubs fans are such hyperactive, superstitious naysayers."

Please. We know how to read the signs of disaster, including:

• Our number-one pitcher ($18 mil/yr) now has an ERA of 54.
• Not so bad, really, considering relief pitcher Jeff Samardzija has an ERA of 108. I thought it was infinity (6 runs divided by 0, as in no outs obtained), but apparently he did strike out one batter.
• It was the worst Cubs opening game in 126 years. The prior record was set May 1, 1884, when New York clubbed Chicago 15 to 3.
• With this game, the Cubs enter their 102nd year of World Series futility. It's the longest losing streak in pro sports history.

"Let's just go back to the hotel and cry," Cubs radio announcer Ron Santo said post-game.

Our sentiments exactly.

Wrigley's Knothole, Harry Caray's Bud

So it's gray, rainy, and practically snowing. But nothing says 'springtime!' like Opening Day at Wrigley Field.

Built in 1914, Wrigley – named after the chewing gum guy – is the second-oldest ballpark in the major leagues (after Boston's Fenway). Getting tickets is near impossible, but you can always watch the game via The Knothole, a garage-sized opening that let's you peek onto the playing field from Sheffield Ave.

One thing you should know before standing here and getting your hopes up: the team in blue pinstripes is suffering from the longest dry spell in US sports history. The hapless Cubbies haven't won a championship since 1908, a sad record unmatched in pro football, hockey or basketball.

Statistics over the decades show the Cubs have just a 46% chance of winning the game you're watching. Which is why you may want to head over to Harry Caray's, where you can at least sit in warmth while drinking away the pain. And if something feels familiar, almost game-like, while you're bellied up to the 60-foot-6-inch bar, well, that's the distance from the pitcher’s mound to home plate.