Bhut-y Call

I've written before about Jake Melnick's Corner Tap, where the spicy buffalo wings are sauced with the bhut jolokia, the hottest pepper on earth. For reference, it's about 200 times hotter than a jalapeno.

On Sunday, November 6, Melnick's hosts the "Battle of the Bhut" wing-eating contest - an official event on the International Federation of Competitive Eating circuit. Last year's winner, Erik "The Red" Denmark, chowed 35 nuclear wings. They're typically served alongside a bell - you ring it for a shot of cooling milk, in case the pepper incapacitates your vocal chords.

Oddly, while chilies inflame the mouth, they're thought to have the opposite effect on the reverse end of the body. This goes back to French Army officer L Stevenel, who wrote in the 1956 Bulletin of the Society of Exotic Pathology that West African locals' lack of hemorrhoids was does to their red-chili-rich diet.

For more on dishes hot enough to repel elephants, check out the World's 10 Fieriest Foods.

Flo's Algiers Lounge

If your gramma decked out her basement like a tiki bar, the result would be Flo's. Faux palm trees sway, lights twinkle, and plastic baskets of pretzel sticks tempt on the formica tables. The bar is in a converted drycleaner's building. Flo and her husband bought it 30+ years ago. He died, Flo got a gun, whipped up some pierogies to serve with her Budweiser, and kept the place going. The rest is history as only a Chicagoan like Flo can tell it.

The sassy octogenarian will give you an "Impeach Mayor Daley" bumper sticker. She'll tell you dirty jokes. She'll bring ice for your whiskey via a shopping cart from the back room (because those damn ice bags are heavy).

Once a month Flo hosts the Revolutionary Swing Orchestra. The 15-piece brass band plays oldies and polka tunes for a rockin' crowd of mostly senior citizens. Catch the next gig on Jan. 22 starting at 9pm.

Flo's is at 5436 W Montrose Ave in Portage Park.

A Bar a Day (Keeps Sobriety Away)

Marty Wombacher has a liver of steel. Or maybe a liver of sponge. It's sturdy, whatever it is, because Marty floods it with beer and shots daily as he quests to drink at a different New York City bar every night in 2010. That's right - 365 bars in 365 days. So far, so good.

He's at bar number 96 currently. He blogs about each place and gives a review with pix at A Guy Walks into 365 Bars.

He's big in Australia, where The Morning Show aired a piece on him. He's relentless enough to drag his 80-year-old parents out when they came to NYC. And we'll host him here in Chicago when he takes the pub crawl on the road Apr. 29 and 30. We have some special watering holes in mind (to be revealed later), but in the meantime, we're open to suggestions.

Burning Similarities

What do March Madness watchers in Chicago and the army of India have in common? Read on for the hot answer.

At Jake Melnick's sports bar, where hoops fans gather in the Windy City, the food of choice is a basket of spicy buffalo wings. At Melnick's, they're sauced with the bhut jolokia (aka ghost chili), which the Guinness Book of Records certified as the hottest pepper on earth. You have to sign a waiver before Melnick's will serve you the nuclear wings. And they arrive alongside a bell - you ring it for a shot of cooling milk, in case the pepper incapacitates your vocal chords.

In northeastern India, where the chili grows, locals have long used it to repel elephants. The Indian army recently announced it would put the pepper in hand grenades to fight terrorists. And, of course, folks use it to spice up their curries.

For reference, the bhut jolokia is 200 times hotter than a jalapeno. Medicinal bonus: some studies say eating super-hot chilis reduces hemorrhoids.

Wrigley's Knothole, Harry Caray's Bud

So it's gray, rainy, and practically snowing. But nothing says 'springtime!' like Opening Day at Wrigley Field.

Built in 1914, Wrigley – named after the chewing gum guy – is the second-oldest ballpark in the major leagues (after Boston's Fenway). Getting tickets is near impossible, but you can always watch the game via The Knothole, a garage-sized opening that let's you peek onto the playing field from Sheffield Ave.

One thing you should know before standing here and getting your hopes up: the team in blue pinstripes is suffering from the longest dry spell in US sports history. The hapless Cubbies haven't won a championship since 1908, a sad record unmatched in pro football, hockey or basketball.

Statistics over the decades show the Cubs have just a 46% chance of winning the game you're watching. Which is why you may want to head over to Harry Caray's, where you can at least sit in warmth while drinking away the pain. And if something feels familiar, almost game-like, while you're bellied up to the 60-foot-6-inch bar, well, that's the distance from the pitcher’s mound to home plate.

Kuma's and the Goblin Cock

Quit whining and wait. You can swill one of the swell microbrews on tap, or one of the many bourbons (also on tap). So what if you have to stand elbow-to-elbow in this buzzing, dimly lit meat hive for at least two hours, until the tattooed hostess leads you to your table?

Because then, get your carving knife ready. Or unhinge your jaw. Kuma's cooks monster burgers: 10 fat ounces hefted onto a pretzel-roll bun, each burger named after a heavy metal band. The Slayer piles french fries, chili, peppers, andouille sausage, and "anger" atop its burger. The Iron Maiden heaps on avocado and chipotle mayo, while the Goblin Cock - well, you should see it to believe it. The Kuma Burger provides breakfast, lunch and dinner on a single plate. It's like an Egg McMuffin on steroids, with bacon, cheddar, and a fried egg crowning the juicy meat patty.

Kuma's Corner is always ridiculously busy, and head-bangingly loud. It's located at 2900 W. Belmont Ave. Open daily for lunch, dinner, and adult beverages. For less-carnivorous patrons, there's a full menu of mac-and-cheese dishes.

George Washington's Whiskey

Monday was George Washington's birthday celebration. While it was crushing to discover he didn't really have wooden teeth, it was redeeming to learn GW fired up his very own whiskey still. Right at Mt Vernon, the Father of Our Country operated one of the country's most successful distilleries, percolating 11,000 gallons of nostril-singeing booze at its peak in 1799.

Historians recreated Washington's distillery a few years ago, and they occasionally cook up a batch of hooch following his recipe - which they're doing now, during the two weeks around his birthday. They'll bottle and sell half the whiskey at Mt Vernon starting in June. The un-aged product is akin to what Washington and troops swilled. The makers will age the other half in oak barrels for future sale - this is more like what we drink today. A daily blog documents the process.

Here in Chicago, top places to quench a whiskey thirst include Delilah's, Duke of Perth and Twisted Spoke. The latter has Whiskey Wednesdays so if you hurry out now, you can sip among the 150 varieties for half price.