Signs of the Times

If you're driving through Cincinnati, Ohio, and you pass an old parachute factory with a giant genie beckoning out front, stop. It's the American Sign Museum, chock full of flashing neon beacons that will sear your retinas. Vintage drive-in marquees, the Frisch’s Big Boy and Charo's Vegas billboard ("The Can-Can goes Cuchi Cuchi") are among the cache of nostalgic novelties. 

The museum was born from one man's passion and collection of salvaged signs. A neon-making shop onsite guarantees a future for the industry.

Museum Day Outcast No. 1: Ventriloquist Museum

Kenny Talk

Jacko

September 29 is National Museum Day (sponsored by Smithsonian Magazine). In the run-up to the big event, I'm going to pay homage to some institutions you won't see on the list.

First up: the Vent Haven Ventriloquist Museum in Fort Mitchell, Kentucky (just outside Cincinnati, Ohio). Jeepers creepers! When you first glimpse the roomful of goggle-eyed wooden heads staring mutely into space, I dare you not to run screaming for the door. (If you’ve seen Magic, you know what dummies are capable of.)

Woody DeForest

Local William Shakespeare Berger started the museum after amassing a collection of some 700 dolls. Today Jacko the red-fezzed monkey, white-turtleneck-clad Woody DeForest and the rest of the crew sit silently throughout three buildings. Lest you think the entertainment form is history, stop by in July, when the annual conVENTion takes place and 400 ventriloquists arrive with their talkative wooden pals.

A Christmas Story Story

Now that it's cold enough outside to stick a tongue to a flagpole, I always think of Cleveland, Ohio. You probably do, too, without realizing it. Because the city holds the house from A Christmas Story, the 1983 film in which Ralphie yearns for a Red Ryder BB gun.

It's a big tourist attraction. In 2004, a fan named Brian Jones bought the private residence on eBay for $150,000 and replicated the interior to match the movie set (only the home's exterior had been used for filming). Jones' job, by the way: manufacturing leg lamps.

When I visited, there was a line to get in. Fans swarmed the place, snapping pix by the Christmas tree, at the mailbox (where Ralphie waited for his decoder pin) and - most popularly - huddled around the leg lamp. This was April, mind you. In December there's the added bonus of having Randy (aka the now-36-year-old actor who played the little bro) on site to show you around. Afterward everyone crosses the street to the gift shop to buy - that's right - a leg lamp! (We prefer the key chain version, as well as a bar of Lifebuoy Soap to wash out dirty mouths).